Page 30 - 2304

Okay, so in my last column I said how I was going to embrace my season out of the saddle. Use my down time as a learning opportunity. Sounded easy, educational and inspirational right? Well, the longer I am in physical therapy following my knee surgery, the more time not riding, and the more frustrated I feel! So much for taking the high road! Honestly, I so want to be back in the saddle. I’m sure many people have been in the exact same position, and you know exactly how I am feeling - deprived and sorry for myself. Nothing you can do about it, right? Time heals all wounds and all that… Well, they don’t heal fast enough in my book!

It is amazing that now that I can’t ride or show, it’s all I think about. I study my old rounds, check show results online, watch videos, read equestrian magazines and books about horses - anything to keep me in touch. If I could put as much focus on my studies as I do on my horse obsession… well that is another story.

My goal is to be back at the top of my game by Devon, but there are a lot of steps to getting there. Start with baby steps, progress to long strides and then fnally…jumping! Or so I hope. I have physical therapy sessions a minimum of three times a week. I put my all into it, work through the pain and all that, repeat the exercises as I am instructed. I am a “star” PT student! Truly, I am as dedicated as one can get… but it’s a long, slow process, and while I am determined to get back in the saddle, I have to admit that

I’m also a bit terrifed.

I haven’t admitted this to anyone, until now. I’m scared that when I get back in the saddle, I won’t get “it” back, whatever that magical “it” is. The last time I competed was at WIHS: and I won! Now I have this deep-rooted fear that it will never happen again! Realistic? No. Unreasonable? Yes. Crazy? Absolutely. It is only when I look at my horses that these insecure thoughts disappear. Truth be told, since getting out of the hospital, I have “ridden” (if you can call it that) my horse Tyler twice! I managed to mount up after a few weeks of rehab. My feet were in the stirrups, my fngers on the reins, and I felt reassured that everything was going to be okay. Visual-reality check for all you readers: my trainer Liza Boyd was by my side, leading me around the ring like I was a little lead line kid! I had this urge to pick up a canter and jump around but I don’t think Liza would have appreciated that, and I am sure it wouldn’t have been great for my knee either. One step forward, three jumps back!

Recovering from an injury takes time for both humans and horses. I know this. I mean, we let our horses mend at the proper rate, and give them time to heal at their own pace. But now I wonder if they feel the same way I do, stall rest, hand walking like bed rest and rehab are not really so much fun! I know I have to apply the same principles that I would bringing a horse back. I know this intellectually, but emotionally I am “straining at the bit” to get going! So, I will work really hard, do all my exercises, and keep my eye on the prize - RIDING!

Advice from the injured to anyone who loves riding: don’t play fag football (that’s how I got hurt)… ok, just kidding! There are no guarantees, and accidents happen. But for me, I’m going to try to be smart and stay “sound” from now on, ‘cause watching videos from the “good old days” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be!

Sarah Ward is currently on the mend and living in Atlanta. Sarah rides with Finally Farm’s Jack Towell and Liza Towell-Boyd and competes with Finally Farm in the hunters and jumpers in both the amateur and open divisions.