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92 SIDELINES AUGUST 2011 FOR HORSE PEOPLE • ABOUT HORSE PEOPLE S P O R T P S Y C H O L O G Y

Selecting Your Role Models

Ann S. Reilly, Ph.D.

The society in which we live leads us to believe that successful athletes,

equestrians in this case, are role models for us to emulate. Successful equestrians have incredible communication skills with horses and many are very courageous riders. Do these riders possess the higher qualities that make them true role models for the average? Perhaps

teachers and coaches, as well as other people encountered in your life can also serve as role models, helping shape your character, teaching ideals and values, as well as serving as motivational inspiration.

Equestrian Stars Acquire Role Model Status

Through winning, equestrian star athletes are under a lot of pressure to live “perfect” lives when they reach role model status in the minds of their fans.

The reality is, it is very difficult to lead a perfect life. When one of our stars fails us, their fans are often dramatically let down, and the gossip and press spreads like wildfire.

In reality, these “stars” have no duty to be role models, it is only the status they acquire through winning.

In choosing role models for your life, instead of looking to the “big equestrian stars” to emulate and model your goals and lifestyle after, it may be healthier to look to the teachers, coaches, the adult amateur rider, or the everyday person, whose acts of kindness toward others is a priceless gift to humanity.

Teachers and coaches are generally “givers.” They wear many hats. Their other roles often include psychologist, surrogate mom or dad, friend, driver, babysitter, disciplinarian, and problem solver for their students. Their lives are often dedicated to developing other people, rather than winning in competition. Now, I am not saying that star equestrian athletes do not participate in events and activities that help others. Many do give back to others and participate in fund raisers for charity and mentoring programs for younger riders. Teachers and coaches do this on a

daily basis; their lives are dedicated to helping others. You can learn your equestrian skills from close observation of “star” riders’ talents, and keep an open mind in looking for role models who develop other aspects of your life and character.

Let’s face it. Most riders are entitled and blessed with

the financial means that the average person is not able to afford. Sometimes we get so lost in our own lives that we forget about, or do not allow ourselves to think about those who are in need--like the recent flood and tornado victims who have lost everything, some even their lives. Or even just the cute little girl who loves horses, and comes to shows to watch her passion, but will never be able to even afford a riding lesson. You can learn a lot about compassion from people who are less fortunate.

The Simple Things

Sometimes there are kind souls at the shows who strike up conversations with these kids who may never be able to afford to ride. They let them pet their horse, and chat pleasantly, taking a little time to just be friendly and approachable. This is the kind of role model I admire, and aspire to be like. Keep your big time equestrian role models, and add some of the teachers and coaches, as well as smaller stars as your role models, whose everyday acts of simple kindness toward others is something that you can accomplish, and will make you and the equestrian world a very happy place for everyone!

Ann S. Reilly, Ph.D. is a sport psychologist and author of “A Sport Psychology Workbook for Riders,” available from amazon. com Questions for Ms. Reilly’s column can be addressed to areilly627@aol.com. Photo by Ina Bachman

“It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others.”  

       - Mark Twain