40 SIDELINES NOVEMBER 2011
FOR HORSE PEOPLE • ABOUT HORSE PEOPLE
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Developing Healthy Self Esteem
By Ann S. Reilly, Ph.D.
How do you feel about yourself, your abilities, and
limitations? Do you feel
good about yourself and believe you are deserving
respect? Or do you think nothing you do is ever good
enough? Maybe you feel good about yourself and your
abilities in some situations but not in others.
The frst scenario describes healthy self esteem. The
second depicts low self esteem. The third describes
how your self esteem can fuctuate in different situations.
Developing healthy self esteem will help you become
physically healthier and more confdent in your equestrian
endeavors.
Steps to Developing Healthy Self Esteem
1.
Surround yourself with people who provide you with
positive feedback.
Sometimes this means letting go of relationships that are
“toxic”. Stay away from people who constantly criticize or
devalue your worth.
2.
Make yourself talk positive.
Self talk is the voice in
your head which tells you how you think about yourself
and what you think you are capable of doing. You can
do a little self assessment in which you keep a notebook
for a few days and write down your positive and negative
evaluative thoughts about yourself. You have control over
these thoughts!
3.
Focus on your positive qualities and change your
negative self evaluations into positive ones.
We are often
the toughest critic of ourselves which often causes us to
become our own worst enemy. We become an enemy
to ourselves when we listen to those naughty little critical
negative thoughts, which may or may not be true and
rational.
4.
Make a list of your positive qualities
, and those of your
horse(s) and consciously focus daily on that list.
5.
Attack the negative, critical thoughts that are not true, rational,
or healthy by replacing those thoughts with ones that are positive
.
It may be as simple as fnding a few mantras to keep handy when
you are feeling overly critical of yourself. For example: “I am as
worthy as anyone else in the world.” “My performance doesn’t
determine my self worth.” “I am able to overcome obstacles I am
faced with.” If you are spiritual you can ask your angels to help
you take your negative thoughts away and allow you to see the
good in yourself.
6.
Answer all compliments you get with an enthusiastic THANK
YOU, not thank you BUT...
7.
Feel your feelings
. Often people who have grown up with
others telling how they “should”
feel don’t recognize their own
feelings. Learn to stop and
listen to YOUR feelings, and
validate to yourself that they are
real. Then, when you are upset,
comfort yourself. You can do
this with your self talk. Talk to
yourself like a positive, good
friend would talk to you. Offer
yourself comfort and safety.
8.
Take as good care of
yourself as you do your horse.
Eat well, keep yourself hydrated,
well groomed, and well dressed.
Think of your negative thoughts
as piles of manure. Clean them
out of your head when they are
fresh, like you do for your horse.
Ann S. Reilly, Ph.D. is a sport psychologist and author of “A
Sport Psychology Workbook for Riders,” available from amazon.
com Questions for Ms. Reilly’s column can be addressed to
areilly627@aol.com.
Photo by Ina Bachman