106 SIDELINES OCTOBER 2013
FOR HORSE PEOPLE • ABOUT HORSE PEOPLE
own tresses in honor of Avery and to this day sleeps with the soft
cap Avery knitted on her loom to keep her nearly bald head warm.
“When Avery was diagnosed on August 2, 2011, Grace became
her other doctor,” Vicki said. “Grace made her feel alive, normal,
and ‘just Avery.’ She rode her throughout her entire treatment
and, while Children’s Hospital treated her cancer, Gracefully Dun
treated the one thing no one else could touch or truly understand
– Avery’s soul. All of the doctors supported Avery’s riding as long
as she promised to always wear her helmet and not jump.”
It isn’t easy keeping a happy face when you witness a child’s
gallant battle to survive cancer. The burden rested on Vicki and
John, who managed, at least outwardly, to appear upbeat and
positive throughout Avery’s treatment.
“The barn was really supportive,” Rochelle said. “Avery would
come out to ride her pony – we knew she had an inoperable brain
tumor and that she was following an aggressive treatment. Avery
kept thinking life. We saw this brave little girl puffed up on steroids
and experimental drugs. It was a difficult situation for everyone,
because it was all about keeping the enjoyment in Avery and
Vicki’s everyday life when they were at the barn.”
Avery thought she would beat the tumor and came very close.
“While Avery’s cancer was aggressive and angry, she was by all
accounts beating it, so when she relapsed on May 8, life really
stopped,” recounted Vicki. “We were out of hope, because we
knew that when cancer survives radiation, it becomes angry and
smarter. You can only radiate the brain so much, but because the
new growth was outside of the original margins, Dr. Lui offered
more radiation.”
This time Avery knew that her chances of surviving the relapse
were less than five percent. “We decided together – she wanted
to fight even if it was a long shot and she didn’t hesitate for one
second,” Vicki said. “After 11 more radiation treatments, Avery
was declining. Her final MRI showed massive disease – somehow
Avery knew in her soul before we did, so she said her goodbyes to
the people who took amazing care of her and we took her home.”
Avery wasn’t up to a visit to the barn, so friends brought Grace to
the Dudasch’s house. “She fed her pony carrots, groomed her, sat
on her back (with her helmet on that she insisted on wearing), and
breathed in Grace’s spirit one last time,” recalled Vicki. “Rochelle
used to tell her that if you breathe in their smell they give you
strength. That day Avery said goodbye to her Grace.”
Avery showed amazing courage and indomitable spirit, but her
greatest concern and sadness was that she wouldn’t be able to
take Grace to her fullest potential. “Avery’s words burned into her
dad and me so deeply that the thought of finding another little girl
for Grace was out of the question,” admitted Vicki, who decided
to try to fulfill her daughter’s wish with the help of their trainer and
dear friend Rochelle.
This past May Vicki competed Grace at the Colorado Horse
Park when her own Dutch Warmblood/Thoroughbred mare
Audrey came down with a “mystery lameness” at the last minute.
Vicki and Grace won their Beginner Novice division: no doubt,
Avery was an angel riding at her mother’s shoulder. This year,
Grace qualified for the AEC (American Eventing Championships)
in Texas.
“Avery would be so happy to show her pony to the eventing
community,” said Vicki. “I will do my best to make her proud and I
am honored to ride for her. Every morning I wake up trying to find
a way to live without her. Like Avery ‘I ride to be fearless’ and to
keep my heart beating.”
Photos courtesy of Vicki and John Dudasch, except where noted
PostScript
In May 2012, Avery, Vicki and John traveled to “their place”
in Kauai in the Hawaiian Islands for 10 days, thanks to the
Make-A-Wish Foundation. This past Christmas, following up on
Avery’s request to be cremated, Vicki and John took half of her
ashes and returned to Kauai to spread them on the waters that
Avery loved. “For 14 days we were flooded with rainbows,” Vicki
said. They spread the other half of Avery’s ashes on the hill at
Platinum Farms that overlooks Gracefully Dun’s paddock.
John and Vicki are working with the Morgan Adams
Foundation in Denver, which is dedicated to funding research
for pediatric brain cancer. They hope that their efforts will lead
to finding a cure so that Avery Murray Dudasch’s brief life will be
instrumental in bringing joy and triumph to other families when
their children beat the odds.
Vicki says, “One of my favorites of us sitting together – Rochelle
had just surprised her with the ‘I Ride To Be Fearless’ jump and
Avery had just jumped Grace for her last time. She only rode on
the flat after that.”
The centerpiece statuary in Avery’s Garden at Platinum Farms.
“Rochelle had written a letter to Avery in the last days asking
her to look for some of her beloved horses when Avery got to
heaven. Rochelle told her that she thought God needed a good
horse girl in heaven to help. We believe it offered Avery some
peace,” Vicki said.
