92 SIDELINES AUGUST 2014
FOR HORSE PEOPLE • ABOUT HORSE PEOPLE
e
Fashionably Amateuristic
By Kathy Serio
Since this is the fashion issue, I thought it would behoove
me to delve into the world of the “tres fashionable chevalier
amateur.” However, I quickly realized that I’m
not
that “formidable
mademoiselle,” so I’m going to,
“how you say,” ad lib and pretend.
You see, just this season, 2014,
with gentle nudging — well, more
like constant badgering from my
husband — I finally purchased my
very first Cheval show shirts and
received a few nice Essex show
shirts as a gift as well. It took me
a while to become “fashionably
fashionable.” But obviously, I still
have a very long way to go.
I had a hard time putting aside
the old shirts with the fancy,
stitched button-on collars. I felt like
they were going to be so lonely
in the closet all by themselves if
they weren’t put to good use. You
know, the ones where you always
kept the second back-up collar in
a separate “special place” so as
not to lose it. The one where, if
you happen to lose the main collar
as it sneakily slips off your belt
accidentally because the washing
machine has left only a half of one
button remaining as the enclosure,
then you don’t remember said
“special place” to replace the lost
one, and then you proceed to cuss
up a storm, tear the closet and drawers apart because said stupid
button collared shirt (which you now hate because it has taken
you 45 minutes to look for the backup one and you can’t find it)
is rendered completely useless after years of ownership and all
you can think to say is, “Honey what did you do with my collar? It
was right here yesterday!” — even
though you haven’t seen it in the
last 10 years.
This was also the season I
purchased not one, not two,
but three washable show coats.
OMG,
where have these coats
been all of my life? Consuela,
my housekeeper (aka
— Me
) has
a few rules. It took some getting
used to for a certain someone
of the opposite sex and of the
husband persuasion, to figure this
out at first, but Consuela does
not
iron! Ever. Never. Ever.
“Iron” is a four-letter word for a
reason! It truly is a curse word.
OK, it isn’t a curse word, but it
does make one begin to use curse
words, so it’s a gateway “curse
word” word. So, the washable
coats, the washable shirts, the
washable breeches all had best
be foldable and/or hangable or
Consuela has threatened to quit
on more than one occasion. If
even asked where the iron might
be, she might quit. I don’t think
she even
knows
where the iron
Continued on page 94
My fashionable bit collection
Chapeau’s “Fashion Diva” pose
