Rediscovering the Joy of Horses

By Jessica Grutkowski

My hunter green childhood tack trunk doubled as a coffee table in my parents’ den for years. My mother held onto hope that I'd want it for my adult apartment one day, but I urged them to sell it; horses were no longer part of my life.

I had fallen in love with horses at 5 years old after a series of annual “pony rides” on our family friend’s Grand Prix horse during the Hampton Classic. Those early interactions led to more regular lessons at a series of local barns on Long Island. Eventually, I landed at Swan Creek Farm, owned by Patsy and Alvin Topping, where I learned the value of chutzpah—and not to trust birds.

We tacked up by ourselves, enjoyed schooling shows and spent endless hours at the farm with friends. It was an idyllic childhood. I was taught to be a good sport and to celebrate your friends’ wins like your own. The summer before eighth grade, my family sold our Long Island home and moved to Connecticut. I tried riding at a new barn, but it never felt right, so I traded my helmet for soccer cleats.

Five years later while studying at Boston University, I discovered there was such a thing as a college equestrian team. My parents gladly shipped me the contents of my old tack trunk (and finally sold the trunk itself), and I even competed in an IHSA show—but I couldn’t dedicate the time to be successful. After graduating from college, I dove into a professional career in high-tech public relations. I married my college sweetheart, and years later we welcomed identical twin girls, Izzy and Zoe.

When they were 6 years old, they begged for riding lessons at a local lesson barn. My inner horse girl was really excited. We purposely picked a hot July day for their first lesson, wondering if the smell of manure would turn them off. Not surprisingly, it was love at first sight. The same little girls who were scared of lawn mowers would ultimately find their confidence, voice and purpose through horses.

I lived vicariously through them, watching them soak up their newly discovered passion. From the familiar smell of the barn on a cool morning to watching them canter their first crossrail and later experience their first schooling show—the excitement was contagious. Would it be crazy to get back in the saddle?

My first adult riding lesson was humbling. My brain remembered what to do, but my body struggled to catch up. The learning curve was steep, and I broke some bones along the way. It was frustrating not being able to bounce back. While sidelined, my daughters rode the OTTB I had leased and it brought me tremendous joy. I knew I could never be away from horses again.

That year for Christmas, my parents surprised me with a special gift. They were shopping at a local home furnishings store when they spotted something familiar: Styled among other equestrian accents was a hunter green trunk. What were the chances? My initials were still on the front, and the inside was completely refurbished. To this day, we can’t believe the trunk is back in my possession; a piece of my childhood was restored.

In 2021, we took advantage of the post-pandemic housing market and moved from Fairfield County to a more rural area of Connecticut. Our daughters were incoming high school freshmen and beginning to think about college. We switched barns and doubled down on our commitment to supporting their path towards a future in the horse world.

I had been without a horse to ride for several months, and our new trainer helped fulfil my dream of owning a horse. That December we fell in love with a 7-year-old Polish Warmblood named Gratitude P, or Grady. He wasn’t on our list of horses to try, so I like to think he was meant to be mine.

To say I was grateful for my new friend was the understatement of the century. Rejoining the equestrian community as an adult has been a dream come true. Riding is not a linear path, and nothing with horses is promised. I feel blessed to be part of our twins’ riding journey; together, we celebrated the highs and the lows, navigated several unimaginable challenges, and through it all, we became better horsemen.

Along the way, I blended my love of writing with my passion and became a contributing writer at Sidelines. It’s a dream job to interview equestrians from different disciplines and continue to learn about our sport.

In August, my husband and I suddenly became empty nesters. Many of the girls’ peers chose dual-discipline D1 schools, but the allure of a smaller school close to home resonated all around. Centenary University’s new NCEA team, established IHSA program and strong equestrian curriculum were the perfect match for both. Luckily, we can remain involved as a cheer squad.

Knowing my girls love school makes the endless hours in the car, traveling for shows and navigating school absences completely worthwhile. This is their last Junior year, but luckily it’s not the end of an era. Like I’ve discovered for myself, horses will always be part of the girls’ lives. What that will look like exactly will take shape over time, and that’s something we can all be excited about.

Stay tuned for more adventures as a mom to college-aged equestrians, horse owners and adult amateur re-rider recovering from her latest spill. In the meantime, follow me on Instagram @jessgrutkowski and look for my latest articles here on sidelinesmagazine.com!