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Friday, January 06 2017 / Published in General

Parenting an Equestrian Athlete

 

By Margie Sugarman

Margie Sugarman is a leading board-certified psychotherapist and sports consultant based in New York. Margie’s desire is to enhance performance through the connection between the mind and body, and her current client list includes Olympic, professional and amateur athletes across the country. Her experience employing various therapeutic modalities has helped equestrians win classics, junior medals and Grand Prix. Do you have a question you want Margie to answer? Send questions to editor@sidelinesnews.com.

As a parent of a young rider, I want what’s best for my child and what makes her happy. Therefore, once she took an interest in riding, I immediately became very involved. My daughter has been riding for a few years and she has been dedicating all of her time to riding: before school, after school, over the weekends, etc. I want her to be happy, but I feel she’s starting to drift from her group of friends because they don’t ride. I don’t want to tell her to stop riding, but I also want her to recognize that she’s alienating herself from her friends. I know I can be a paranoid parent, but do you have any advice as to how I can approach this situation without overstepping?

While I understand that every parent wants what’s best for their child, it’s sometimes best to monitor from the side, despite your natural motherly instincts to step in and alter the situation.

Friendships are the essence of childhood and people are friends because there’s something that draws them together – usually an interest of some sort. Since your daughter has invested so much time in the equestrian world, she’ll naturally feel comfortable with and befriend those who share her interests.

It’s important to remember that at this time in her life, this is what she wants and loves. Not all interests stay in our lives forever. As we grow, either our interests change or they grow with us. There are a lot of valuable lessons that come from riding and being amongst a close-knit group of (rider) friends:

Your daughter can:

  • Meet new friends from other towns and states, depending upon her involvement in the sport
  • Develop independent thinking, improved mind-body communication and physical coordination
  • Enhance her ability to communicate and interact with people of all ages
  • Develop a deeper respect for others/elders — whether they be trainers, grooms or judges

Lastly, your daughter has an interest that teaches and supports healthy values:

  1. Responsibility: Caring for a horse each and every day. The animal depends on her — despite her possibly feeling tired or having other commitments.
  2. Caring: The bond between horse and rider is deep and unique. When you love an animal, you hurt when they hurt as well as feel the excitement when a goal is met. Your daughter’s horse is a best friend and as with girlfriends, feelings are shared.
  3. Self-discipline: From the care of the animal to the commitment of riding and practicing.
  4. Maturity: Being able to remain humble and driven, maintain patience and be an active team member.

Involvement with horses and riding teach a young person a tremendous amount. It focuses one’s interest in a healthy place as opposed to some of the more negative teenage activities. I don’t see you as a paranoid parent. Many of the aforementioned are qualities and attributes any parent would want for their child. Support the environment that offers these lessons. Your daughter will ultimately choose her own path lined with friends — horsey or non-horsey. Your support, either way, is an important element in her personal development.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tagged under: margie sugarman, Sports Psychology

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It's #STUDSunday and today's featured stallion is. It's #STUDSunday and today's featured stallion is...

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You can find ALL of the stallions featured towards the back of the magazine in the equestrian gallery. Keep a look out EVERY Sunday for a new handsome STUD muffin🧁 and don't forget to subscribe to get your very own edition of Sidelines Magazine, the magazine for horse people, about horse people 🦄

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Annette Longenecker wasn’t just born into horses Annette Longenecker wasn’t just born into horses—in a way, she was born into her career. She grew up in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, where her parents ran a farm. Her mother taught, and her father had a jump business and then created one of the first horse show software programs: Ryegate Show Services, Inc.

Riding all her life, Annette spent many years as a groom and loved it, but knew it wasn’t what she wanted to do as a career. After she finished college, Annette’s father recruited her to help process entries at Ryegate. Since her father, Lloyd Longenecker, founded it in 1981, Ryegate has provided show management and office staff for some of the largest shows in the country. Now, Annette has taken over from her father and directed the company as it focuses on managing memberships and rankings for organizations such as the North American League, WIHS Championships and Equitation, Rolex/USEF Computer Ranking and National Medal Series (THIS NCM and Ariat NAM). Ryegate also provides scoring software for use with video walls, and production teams for hunter and jumper shows.

“Besides running Ryegate Show Services and its various organizations, I can be found in the show office, running a scoreboard or judging jumpers at most shows,” Annette said. “I love getting to wear a few different hats at the show.”

When she’s not busy at a show, Annette lives in Annville, Pennsylvania, with her “fur-baby,” Maggie Mae, and enjoys spending time with her many godchildren. Though she doesn’t currently own any horses, Annette rides when she can at Rolling Acres Farm with Patty Foster, Ashley Foster-Worthington and Mary Lisa Leffler.

Read this month unbridled with Annette Longenecker by clicking the link in our bio. Never miss a story by subscribing to Sidelines Magazine! 🦄
📸Photo by Sheryl Sutherby

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A column from Liz Halliday-Sharp herself The spor A column from Liz Halliday-Sharp herself 
The sport of eventing is a demanding and mentally challenging discipline that requires a combination of physical and mental fortitude from both the rider and horse. While having a coach can be incredibly beneficial, self-coaching can also play a crucial role in a rider’s success.

I think that given the opportunity, most riders would like to be coached every day. The reality of life in the horse world, however, is that the majority of us need to absorb as much from the lessons we have on a limited basis and then practice those skills at home to improve.

When I am riding, I try to have a plan for the horses each day and focus on what I’m looking to achieve. It’s important to be aware of the steady improvements rather than trying to solve everything all at once. This is especially important when teaching horses new movements or exercises that they might struggle with, and we need to give them time to learn and understand what we are asking for.

I have a couple of quotes that I use regularly when I’m teaching, and these are mottos that I hold myself to in my daily work as well.

The first is, “If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.” This is a quote that was said to me many years ago when I was still motor racing and I keep it in the back of my mind each day. It’s easy to get stuck doing the same thing every day with your horse and bad habits are hard to break, from both riders and horses!

This leads me to my next quote, which is, “If what you are doing isn’t working, try something else.” It really is as simple as that! Many riders I see keep asking a horse to do something the same way over and over with an ongoing negative response and they wonder why things don’t get better. In these circumstances, I recommend that the rider change something, even if it’s wrong.

Read the full article by clicking the link in our bio! Don’t forget to keep your eye out for our April subscription!
📸Photo by Alex Banks Photography
The✨April issue✨ of Sidelines Magazine is here The✨April issue✨ of Sidelines Magazine is here and we are so excited to feature three-day eventer Liz Halliday on the cover! Big thanks to photographer Melissa Fuller for the beautiful photo of Liz and Cooley Nutcracker- Liz Halliday-Sharp - HS Eventing. Liz and her horses have taken the eventing world by storm - and find out how Liz is at the top of the sport as a female eventer! As the horse world gears up for the Land Rover Kentucky Three-Day Event 2023, it's the perfect time to enjoy our eventing issue!! We also feature eventer and woman entrepreneur Frankie Thieriot Stutes, who is not only an eventer, but also runs Athletux and FRANKIE CAMERON handbags and accessories. And don't miss our eventing story on Robert "Bobby" Costello, who will be leading the US Eventing team to the 2024 Paris Olympics- and US Equestrian has named Bobby the eventing technical advisor/chef d'equipe!! Liz, Frankie and Bobby all have GREAT stories - don't miss any of them and don't forget to get your tickets for the Land Rover Kentucky Three-Day event! We are also excited to introduce you to hunter-jumper rider Casey Lorusso Smith, who is not only a talented rider but also a psychotherapist and incorporates horses into her career. If you are up for adventure, then read the story on dressage rider Priscilla Baldwin who certainly doesn't let any grass grow under her feet! We also head to the west coast to catch up with hunter-jumper trainer Jim Hagman of Elvenstar Farm, we feature beautiful art by equestrian artist Tammy Tappan, and we get to know Miranda Jones and her family. Miranda is not only an attorney who spends a lot of time in the courthouse, but she's a rider and spends lots of time riding, and is joined by her daughters also! We are excited to feature Stephanie Lightner in our Unbridled column, and don't miss our columnists George Williams, Robert R.L. Jacobs and Margie Sugarman! It's a great issue - and you can read it online, but don't forget to go to the website and order a subscription and get every issue delivered to your mailbox!! Enjoy this issue and enjoy the ride: Link in bio!!
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