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Wednesday, May 09 2018 / Published in General

Showing Against Former Barn Mates and Trainer

Margie Sugarman
Photo by Lauri Foster

By Margie Sugarman

Margie Sugarman is a leading board-certified psychotherapist and sports consultant based in New York. Margie’s desire is to enhance performance through the connection between the mind and body, and her current client list includes Olympic, professional and amateur athletes across the country. Her experience employing various therapeutic modalities has helped equestrians win classics, junior medals and grand prix. Do you have a question you want Margie to answer? Send questions to editor@sidelinesnews.com.

I’m about to compete in my first “A” horse show since switching barns, where I’ll be competing against my former barn mates and trainer. I’m incredibly nervous. I know my former trainer is going to be watching me with a critical eye the entire time. How do I ignore their critical eyes and do my best? (I left for a reason!)

Your last few words are important words: You left for a reason. Gymnasts change coaches. Baseball players change teams. Riders change barns and trainers.

Change is difficult for anyone, and you must have felt something wasn’t right for you since you made the decision to move onto another situation.

That alone is a difficult decision to make and follow through with. Relationships with others at a barn can influence decisions despite a good relationship with the trainer. When it’s issues with your trainer, even though the decision might be well-founded in your mind, taking action can be crippling. Something was so uncomfortable with your situation that this change presented a better option, less tension and better possibilities for you and your riding endeavors.

It’s always hoped that when one changes from one trainer to another, good communication has allowed for an understanding of the student’s decision (assuming the issues have been thoroughly addressed and an attempt to resolve them has been made). Open discussion will hopefully allow for an amicable parting of the ways.

However, this can be far from reality in many situations.

Leaving a barn, trainer and “friends” and moving on while having to compete at the same show can challenge one’s emotional fortitude and confidence. Even the most opinionated and confident individual can feel somewhat anxious having to confront the “old” issues again while trying to stay focused, have a clear mind and ride.

Remember:

  • You left the old situation because it proved to be the wrong one for you.
  • You left the old situation because you couldn’t work toward your riding goals with your interpretation of what was going on.
  • There must be mutual respect to stay in a barn relationship.

The mutual respect with other riders and/or the trainer must have been lacking and irreparable, otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to make such a difficult decision and act on it.

Remember, you left them. You were in a negative situation. The issue(s) couldn’t be resolved and you left for greener pastures where you could work on your goals, respect others and be respected. For you, the new barn is the right situation. You left their negativity and are in a positive place now.

There are various ways to overcome the doubt that your trainer and former “friends” might have instilled in you. Working with a sport consultant or sport psychologist is one of the fastest ways to work through this. Brief cognitive/behavioral work can help you to focus better on the task at hand rather than being concerned with the judgement of those watching you ride. There are also visualization and imagery techniques that can totally change your feelings regarding certain situations impacting your performance at a horse show.

I appreciate that everyone wants a quick fix for in-depth issues. However, taking a little time to properly work through these feelings is going to be the best method for quieting the screaming voice in the back of your head. Using a mind/body approach can assure a positive outcome in addressing a situation that can be disabling.

Don’t forget: Your thoughts control your actions and your actions determine your reality.

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Tagged under: margie sugarman, Sports Psychology

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Marie Meyers has been around the world because of Marie Meyers has been around the world because of dressage, but it’s her farm in Moorpark, California, that has captured her heart. The farm and the business that thrives there represent Marie’s lifelong journey—a journey made up of good friends, spectacular horses and relationships made to last.

Marie was raised in Southern California, and spent her childhood playing just about every sport under the sun, but she didn’t discover riding until she was 14 years old. “I loved animals so much, so I started taking lessons. I did jumping at first, but I was very bad at that, for sure!” Marie laughed.

After some time, Marie moved on to take lessons at Foxfield Riding Academy and began riding dressage. “I fell into dressage by accident,” Marie said, “At the beginning, I thought it was extremely boring, but then I got hooked. By the time I graduated from high school, I had plans to travel to England to work for Franz Rochowansky, a former head of the Spanish Riding School.”

In 1988, Marie’s hard work paid off, and the pair was selected as alternates for the 1988 Summer Olympic Games. “They didn’t take the alternates that year, so we didn’t go to Seoul, but the experience, the training and the European Tour afterwards set me up for the 1990 World Equestrian Games in Stockholm, Sweden,” Marie said.

In addition to having success representing her country, Marie was busy with her life—marriage, a business, teaching lessons and clinics. 

Learn more about Marie in this month's edition of Sidelines Magazine. Click the link in our bio for more 🦄

📸Photos by Lindsey Long Equine Photography, www.lindseylong.com

#dressage #equestrian #horse #horses #horsesofinstagram #dressagehorse #equestrianlife #showjumping #horseriding #equine #pony #pferd #instahorse #dressur #horselove #eventing #equestrianstyle #cheval #dressagerider #horselife #horselover #pferde #love #riding #jumping #pferdeliebe #horseofinstagram #horsebackriding #paard #dressurpferd
We are starting a ‼️new series‼️ here on o We are starting a ‼️new series‼️ here on our socials where we share some of the lovely stallions, and their breeders featured in each month's magazine. Our first feature on this #STUDSunday is...

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Contact Cheryl Maye at (703) 431-9096 for more information
https://www.mayeshowponies.com/more-info/stallions

You can find ALL of the stallions featured towards the back of the magazine in the equestrian gallery. Keep a look out EVERY Sunday for a new handsome STUD muffin🧁 and don't forget to subscribe to get your very own edition of Sidelines Magazine, the magazine for horse people, about horse people 🦄

📸  SAS Equestrian
‼️ROB JACOBS COLUMN‼️ The purpose of this ‼️ROB JACOBS COLUMN‼️

The purpose of this month’s column is to help the young equestrians of our sport develop and maintain healthy friendships within the industry. Cultivating healthy relationships with other members within the industry is not as easy as one may think. As a young equestrian, it may be difficult navigating friendships at the barn and at horse shows. Typically, kids have friendships within the barn they ride at but also friendships with others from different barns in their area. 

Initially, it may seem as though making other friends in the sport would be easy and ideal; after all, there is the common interest of horses. However, because of the natural therapeutic benefits of horses, the sport has a history of attracting all types of people, with a wide range of personalities. This can be both an advantage and a drawback. We are now in an era that acknowledges the growing need to discuss and manage one’s mental health. 

One thing I have learned is that we are likely to notice mental health challenges at an age younger than most people may think. Some of the friendship dynamics I have observed over the years have caused me to pause and really think about the future of our sport. Without looking for a source to blame for the cause of this, i.e. social media, parents, school, teachers, etc., I think if all adults involved worked to encourage, affirm, love, and respect our youth, the likelihood of them developing authentic friendships with their peers may increase.

Both humans and horses were designed to have connected relationships. These relationships allow a greater sense of security when one experiences challenges in life. Cultivating the quality and authenticity of these relationships requires intentional work. 

Thank you Rob for providing your helpful insight on developing healthy relationships. Check out his tips in his column you can find in the link in our bio.
Never miss a story by subscribing to Sidelines Magazine🦄 

Photo by Blenheim Equisports

#horse #horses #horsesofinstagram #equestrian #horseriding #equine #hunterjumper #equestrianlife #horselove #dressage #sidelinesmagzine
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