By Kimberly Gatto
Portraits by Kacy Brown
Veronica Gogan was a horse-crazy teen with lofty dreams when she began to face some troubling symptoms. “It started with bouts of excruciating back pain, followed later by numbness in my lips and face,” the Virginia-based equestrian said. “I was also experiencing intermittent loss of vision.” A doctor’s visit and subsequent MRI revealed a troubling diagnosis: Veronica was suffering from multiple sclerosis (MS)—a disabling, progressive disease that affects the brain and nervous system. “I had seven lesions on my spine and three on my brain,” Veronica said. “It was pretty devastating. There is no cure for MS and there was complete uncertainty as to how my disease would progress.”
But Veronica has never been one to give up easily, especially when it comes to horses. Years later—while her disease has progressed to the point that she can no longer walk unaided—Veronica is back in the show ring. “I had given up all of my dreams of riding competitively, or even at all, because of this disease,” she said. “Then I discovered para dressage and realized that I can still achieve my goals. I just have to work a bit harder.”
Early Years
Born in Virginia horse country, Veronica began riding when she was 5 years old. “We went on a trail ride at a dude ranch, and as soon as my little cowboy boots hit the ground afterward, I was completely hooked on horses and riding,” Veronica said. “It became a complete passion, and I was relentless about it. Any time there was an opportunity to be near a horse, I begged my parents until they gave in.”
At the age of 7, Veronica began taking lessons at the local stable, Great Falls Horse Center. “It was a great learning experience. They had a wonderful horsemanship program for children and I enjoyed every minute of it,” she said. As she progressed, Veronica’s trainer gave her the opportunity to ride some of the more difficult ponies; soon, Veronica began competing successfully in local hunter and equitation classes. “I really loved showing,” she said. “And I would ride whatever I could. I also had a magical ability to find friends with nice horses and almost become a part of their families. I’d go along with them to the ‘A’ horse shows and groom and braid for them. I couldn’t get enough of being around horses and especially horse shows.”
By the time Veronica was a teenager, her parents realized that her love of equines was not just a passing fancy. “When I started high school, my parents made a deal with me: If I got straight As, they would buy me a horse,” she said. “That was all I had to hear. I got straight As on my next report card.”
Young Veronica became the proud owner of a Hanoverian/Thoroughbred cross named Delias. “My dad had grown up on a farm in Iowa and really loved horses,” she said. “After we got Delias, Dad decided to buy a yearling Thoroughbred filly, Foxy, as a project horse. It was a wonderful experience that really brought us closer together. My mom, though admittedly afraid of horses, has also been hugely supportive of my horse passion.”
At the age of 17, Veronica began developing the symptoms of MS. “The doctors said it could have been in my body for a while,” she said. “They called it ‘smoldering MS.’ I said that’s a much too exciting a name for such a horrible, crippling disease.”
As her symptoms continued, Veronica soldiered on. “I am not one to give up,” she said. “So I just decided to keep on fighting and get on with my life.” She enrolled at George Mason University in Fairfax County, Virginia, where she earned a bachelor of arts in philosophy and served as president of the riding club despite facing progressive muscle weakness and neurological issues. “I was riding on the IHSA team at the time and it was becoming much more difficult,” she said. “I developed spasticity in my right leg, which made me unable to control that leg’s movement. My leg basically had a mind of its own—which obviously does not bode well in equitation classes or for riding in general.”
A Growing Family
On her first day of classes at George Mason, Veronica met Robert Gogan, the man who would one day become her husband. “We were in a couple of classes together, but Robert left early to join the police force,” she said. “Later he reached out to some of us classmates to see if anyone would want to meet up and, apparently, I was the first to respond. We had a wonderful dinner together and really hit it off.”
With the support of Robert, Veronica tried different methods to keep herself in the saddle while the disease continued to ravage her body. “I took some side-saddle lessons to see if perhaps I could ride without using my right leg,” she said. “But even that became difficult.”
When a fall from a young horse propelled her headfirst into a fence, Veronica made the heartbreaking decision to give up riding altogether. “It was becoming too dangerous,” she said. “I decided it would be better for me to enjoy horses from the ground, so I sold my trailer and all my riding equipment. It was sad, but I didn’t know what else to do. I just accepted that my riding career was completely over.”
In 2012, Veronica and Robert settled into married life and decided to start a family. “Having my boys has been the most incredible experience of my life,” she said. The journey to motherhood was not easy, however. “I had a very bad relapse of my disease right before I became pregnant with our first son, Ross,” Veronica said. “During that pregnancy, I started walking with a cane. When our second son, Kyle, was 1 year old, I was using a mobility scooter nearly all the time. Then I developed some cognitive symptoms. One day, I was driving to church with Kyle in the back seat and suddenly I didn’t know where I was going. My mind totally blanked out.”
She ended up in the hospital for two weeks, where testing revealed another brain lesion. “Up until then I had managed to cope with my symptoms, but when the cognitive issues began, it was truly terrifying,” Veronica said.
“My mother and brother are both doctors, and they were incredibly helpful in making sure I received the best care,” Veronica said. “And Robert is a saint among mortals. Our family and friends pitched in to help during my relapses. It truly does take a village to deal with a disease like this, and I am forever grateful for the support my ‘village’ has given me.”
A Return to Horses
As she coped with her symptoms, Veronica found herself longing for the solace she found in the presence of horses. An annual tradition, she attended the Washington International Horse Show to watch some classes. There she met a group of folks from a local therapeutic riding organization. “I met a woman who also suffered from MS, and she told me I should try therapeutic riding,” Veronica said. “I brushed it off at first, as I now had a husband and children and they are my priority. But she was so adamant. Eventually I decided to give it a try—and it truly changed my life.”
She enrolled in a 12-week session at a local therapeutic stable and was immediately hooked. “I learned about the various types of equipment available for disabled equestrians, and how you can adapt your body to use different aids to communicate with the horses,” she said. “For example, since my legs don’t work correctly, I have to be very accurate with my seat. Or I can softly lay my whip on the horse’s side in place of my leg. The horses learn quickly. They’re so intuitive, and some seem to really enjoy the para horse job.”
While she was involved in therapeutic riding, Veronica discovered the sport of para dressage—dressage for riders with an eligible permanent physical impairment. “As soon as I found out that I could compete again, it opened a whole new world for me. Despite my disability, I could achieve my show-ring goals,” she said. The only glitch was that the therapeutic program did not have any horses available for showing. “I called Ann-Louise Markert, a wonderful trainer whose horses I had ridden when I was in college, to see if she had any ideas. She said she would make it happen.”
Ann-Louise owned an older American Warmblood stallion named Glenord’s Christopher Robin, aka Robin, who was in semi-retirement after a lifetime of show-ring success. “I had been lucky enough to ride Robin when I was in college. Now he was 26 and didn’t have a job. He loved to work, but he wasn’t feeling great in his old age,” Veronica said. “It turned out to be the perfect situation for both of us. Being a para dressage horse brought Robin back to life—and he brought me so much happiness.”
At the 2020 USEF/Adequan Emerging Athlete Championships, Veronica and Robin won blue ribbons in each of their classes. That same year, Veronica was named the 2020 VADA/Nova FEI Para Equestrian Champion and Robin was awarded the 2020 Rataxes Memorial Licensed Show Award as the highest-scoring older horse in Virginia dressage shows. After such a fulfilling season, Robin was finally ready to retire. “I always say it was Robin’s ‘last hurrah,’” Veronica said. “I am forever grateful to Ann-Louise for giving me the opportunity to ride such a special horse. The entire experience was simply magical.”
In the wake of Robin’s retirement, Veronica contacted international Grand Prix dressage competitor Lauren Sprieser. “I asked if she could help find a horse suitable for me to compete for the 2021 season. She introduced me to Mason, a client’s horse who had been trained through Intermediare I but needed a lower-level job,” she said. “At first it was a little rough, as Mason didn’t understand what I was asking of him with my very different cues and body language. But he quickly figured it out and became the perfect partner.” Together, Veronica and Mason won their classes at the 2021 USEF National Championships. “Riding Mason was like a fairytale for me,” Veronica said. “Because he was mostly white, I called him my unicorn. And I called Lauren my fairy godmother.”
A Horse of Her Own
When Mason returned to his owner after the one-year lease, Veronica approached local USDF Gold medalist Ampara Visser. “It is difficult to find a trainer that can handle teaching a disabled rider. It’s daunting to take a rider you don’t know well, whose body and capabilities you’re unfamiliar with, and then put them on a horse,” Veronica said. “But Ampara didn’t bat an eye. She utilizes biomechanics and harmony with the horse in her training methodologies. It has been a great fit for me with my disability. We worked out a situation in which I was able to do her bookkeeping in exchange for riding, which has turned out to be the perfect situation for both of us.”
While riding with Ampara, Veronica began to search for a horse of her own. “At that point, my disease was fairly stable and I was in a good place, mentally and physically,” she said. “I wanted a horse, but money is very tight as my husband is a police officer and I’m a stay-at-home mom. We couldn’t afford to purchase a made dressage horse.” While perusing online, a lovely mare from a rescue Facebook ad caught Veronica’s eye. “She was a big, bay Dutch Harness Horse,” Veronica said. “She was at Colby’s Crew, a rescue facility in Charlottesville, so Ampara and I decided to go look at her. We both decided she was something special. I bought her the following day.”
Unfortunately, before the mare was to be transported home, the rescue called and informed Veronica that the horse fractured her coffin bone in a paddock accident. The rescue would not release the mare while injured. “They said they would refund my money and rehab her, and see what happened. I would have first right of refusal if she ended up recovering.”
Veronica couldn’t get the pretty mare out of her mind. “I went to visit her weekly at the rehab facility and really started to form a bond with her,” she said. “I was determined that I would purchase her after her recovery, no matter what.”
It was around that time that Veronica developed a nasty, lingering cough. “The cough had been bothering me for a while and just kept getting worse,” she said. “I went to my primary care physician, who ordered a chest X-ray that showed a nodule on my left lung. But the doctor said it was a common finding and not to worry, so I basically put it on the back burner and went on with my life.”
When the cough continued to worsen, Veronica pursued the recommended CT scan. “I remember it was the Monday before Halloween and we were taking the kids to Halloween festivities at the White House. The report came in from the hospital and noted that I had nodules in both lungs, with the words, ‘suspicious primary lung cancer.’ I couldn’t believe it.”
Veronica immediately sent the report to her mother, a breast oncologist and surgeon. “My mom got me an appointment right away with an interventional pulmonologist,” she said. “Initially they predicted both would be totally benign. They took biopsies, but when the doctor finally came in to talk to me, I felt his entire tone change. They had found lung cancer in my left lung and a fungal infection in my right.” Veronica was scheduled for surgery for December 6, during which 40% of her left lung and 17 lymph nodes were removed. At that point, she was diagnosed with stage 3A lung cancer.
“The surgery and recovery were incredibly tough,” Veronica said. “For weeks, I could barely get up out of a chair. I was plagued with terrible, crushing thoughts and the general prognosis was really grim.” Her cancer turned out to be a specific mutation that was treatable with oral target therapy, rather than chemotherapy, and a far better prognosis. “The fact that my cancer was discovered early is a miracle. My doctors feel positive that the cancer is fully curable.”
Another positive is that the Dutch mare—whom Veronica has named Birdie in a sweet nod to her beloved Robin—now belongs to her. The horse is providing Veronica with some much-needed comfort and hope. “Birdie has such a good brain and is super cute,” Veronica said. “We haven’t started training her yet; right now I’m just enjoying getting to know her. I’m enjoying every nicker and rub. My boys had never expressed an interest in riding, but they now say that someday they want to ride Birdie. It warms my heart.”
In the meantime, Veronica is holding tight to her dreams, lofty as they may be. “My goal is to one day compete at the Festival of Champions,” she said. “That would be equivalent to climbing Mount Everest, but I always try to stay positive, no matter how dark it seems. Birdie may never be fancy enough and I may not be strong enough, but I am loving this new phase of horse ownership. Birdie came along at just the right time and is now tied into my cancer recovery. I feel that it was meant to be.
“I don’t know what is going to happen, but I know one thing,” Veronica concluded. “I am going to enjoy each and every moment of this journey.”
Follow Veronica on Instagram @veronicagogan_
Photos by Kacy Brown, kacybrownphotography.com
